Loneliness in a relationship….

By the time we feel that butterfly in our tummy, start eating chocolate, gone all shy or silent, look into each other eyes, touch hands, feel the sensuality in our hands, the heat in our bodies, looking at the same direction, kissing and cuddling, we know that Love is in the air!

We then start missing each other and can’t live by ourselves anymore; we need a constant presence from the one we love.

We then make adult decisions in getting married in front of God and our families.

The vows that we said that day should and must remain with us for the rest of our lives. They are precious.

As life carry on, we face the day to day reality of our lives, but as we said on the day we committed ourselves, we will be together no matter what happen. We will love and cherish one another all the time, in good and bad times.

Time then pass by, pressure of society builds up, insecurity, internal and personal feelings starting to develop, we close ourselves down to the one only we loved. No understanding, bad consequences, and hurt feelings.Things change and we feel that we are getting old and lonely inside.

Loneliness is a relation is a very common thing, men and women get lonely in their relationship sometimes when commonality is reduced, activities declined, attention diverted, misunderstanding occured.

We cannot blame society for being the main cause of that, I think we need to think again about the meaning of vowels that make us Husband and Wife, we need to communicate, share and forgive.
We need to let go and give some love. We can live very simple lives and be happy the rest of our lives. We can try to open our hearts and listen to our thoughts. Going for a walk is an excellent remedy; take the one you love with you, kiss them on the way back- You will see the difference.

Have a good Sunday!

How do you learn to love?

A name define who you are and is very much associated to your individuality, love is what makes your senses respond without thinking to a specific need….. it makes you flow, feel good, love helps your heart to be the essence of who you are as human being, you then become open and willing to care and empathize with others naturally.

Some people don’t know love, don’t understand it and can’t give it. It is not their fault, they just don’t know it. Can love be taught? I am not sure! Do we teach our children to love, or do we just give it to them? What if we don’t know how to?

My father used to say, if you don’t have love in your heart, you can’t empathise with anyone. All the attention is in you, only you! No one else is important; you are in your own world. Bless him; he was a very loving man.

When I think of Mugabe, I am not sure if he knows love, should he know love, would he be like this? Bitter, angry, cold, unforgiving, he would not be so lonely if he knew love!

Nelson Mandela had a very tough life, but nevertheless understands the meaning of love, it seems to me that no matter where you come from, the meaning of love is conform, uniform and come from a button inside.

Love is given to our children, they then give it to theirs, if the process is used in the same logic, there should not be any damage, but if not used in the correct logic, it can cause damage to generations.

In think when we let go, open our hearts, make concession, trust ourselves, forgive, forget, share with others, give to others and finally heal, then love can occur.

MJ.

Absentee Black Men Fathers

Obama’s victory will make a great change into the Black Family homes in the USA and around the Globe. The First black man President himself had an absent Father.

A role model he could not refer too at his inauguration day, but understood that he had a black blood in his veins. Obama has not rejected his origins, neither emphasized nor pretended to be someone else. He is proud to be different!

One can blame his Father for being selfish, self centered, irresponsible, and undignified parent, but when all doors are closed in front of you, when you are told that you are just a black person good for nothing, when people sees you as a drug dealer and future jail lodger, when you are expected one the streets of New York selling illegal CD’s, DVD’s, or at the back yard of Chinese restaurants in China town cleaning plates, when all you can get is to clean cars in DC cars parks, or in hospitals, when people take you for granted and insult your intelligence, when people sees you as a immigrant wanting to have a better life in the USA with a green card, when people do not respect you as a human being and clearly demonstrate their superiority… when you are not simply given a little chance, life can be tough for a Black Man.

I know lots of decent black men; they work very hard for their families, highly intelligent, loving incredibility caring, successful in business and very happy!

Obama is not the first Black man that loves his wife, soft and gentle with his children. You don’t have a white blood in you to be like that. Do you?

In the USA, until recent years Black men were featured for good for nothing, sex machine for women, basketballs guys, violent men, problem men, etc… many others countries have their say about black men, in my view these are pure unjustified labels that our society has developed to categorize people with that race.

It is unfair indeed, they know that! We also know there are bad and good people every where in every society, but giving back to people what belongs to them is justice, meaning Respect!

There are highly educated Black men in our society, some had the courage, the confidence, the opportunity and the determination to go very far with their lives, some hold very senior positions, but very few have had the audacity to push for a Presidency, it certainly would not happen many years ago. The possibilities were very slim you will say! But why were they?

Here come Obama biracial, ambitious, articulate, eloquent, educated, intelligent, decent, appear loving, and collected; today the most powerful man in the world. Wow! How long did it take? -Nearly 5 decades, or more than that?-

My Father would never have dreamed this; why would he not? I guess at their times the opportunities were limited, despite their education and successes. Black men could not even think beyond their means. If they had one job, they would consider themselves extremely lucky. As they had to feed their families, they would not jeopardize that. Most of them would stay and fight, work long hours in cold weathers, do jobs no one else does, some would simply run as the pain they would cause to their families was too deep to see and encounter.

Enslaved Africans American helped in the building up of the White house. The ghost of the White house must have waked up when Obama walked in there as their sweat were on those bricks.
Abraham Lincoln ended slavery in the USA and MLK thought for their real Freedom, their milestones of sacrifices encouraged Obama to be here today!

Black Men have struggled, the Presidency of Obama will not end their struggles, the attitude he has shown since we saw him is not a novelty in our communities but I feel that it will give them another sense of comfort in their own skin to do even better for their families and hopefully nurture their children for a better and more sustainable Future!

A child needs his Father

Best Regards

Mariéme